


Sweet Fantasy

by kookienight, lalazora



Category: NCT (Band), VIXX
Genre: Angst but really it's nothing, Crack, Explicit Language, Fun, Gonna be explicit later, I probably created one of the weirdest Kpop pairing., M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Smut, is that even a thing, serious and not serious at the same time, too much tags really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-08-17 12:07:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8143409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kookienight/pseuds/kookienight, https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalazora/pseuds/lalazora
Summary: Hakyeon wants to be useful to his members, wants them to let him take care of them, and to let them use him.Taeyong wants to be able to lead on his members, not always be the one taking care of everyone, but also being the one suffocated with affection. Unfortunately for both of them, their bandmates don't seem to get the memo. And maybe they just need to meet each other to get what they always wanted.. . ."Oppa and-""Wow, you want to call them oppa? That's kinkier of you than I thought.""I don't wanna hear that from someone who wants to be treated as a freakin' sextoy.""...Point taken.". . .





	1. Why Did I Talk To You Again?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> So this idea came to my mind one day when I was imagined N with stockings, thinking how great he would look with some red ones (don't judge me) and I wondered who except him would look great with them, but without expecting it. Taeyong of NCT. And, after that and some weird shit happening in my mind, I came with this idea. 
> 
> May god have mercy on my soul. I 've created one of the weirdest pairing ever. But they fit, somewhere.

_It all started when they made their comeback with Dynamite..._

 

You know, there's a routine when you’re an idol promoting a new song.

 

You wake up early, go to music shows, wait hours for your turn, pre-record performances again and again, finally sing your song, and meet the fans.Then you go back to the car, sleep, do other schedules if you have any, go to the practice room and, well, practice.

 

And after all of that, if you still don't have anything else to do, like for example when you're a masochist like Wonshik or Taekwoon - Hyuk’s words - you compose, then go back to your dorm to sleep, again. Basically, you do just that for at least 2 months.

 

Of course, this only happens if you’re lucky and popular. If you're not, well let's just say it can take a lot more time before you will have any amount of decent sleep.

 

VIXX is now a band with four years of experience and in the idol world, believe me when I say, it’s a long time. Because of this, all the members are accustomed to this schedule. When you're an idol for so long with at least 3 comebacks a year, you tend to get used to the life and eventually find the perfect balance of getting at least 7 hours of sleep a day. Most days.

 

That's why, when Hakyeon woke up this morning, he didn't really understand why he felt so off.

 

He knows his balance, he knows how to manage his stress, and he knows he didn't miss any time to sleep. It was really weird. But he didn't have much time to think about it because, well, he had to think about waking his bandmates up - which always took some time if you put Wonshik in the equation - and preparing them to go out for the day. Mornings were always a hard time to be a leader, but a leader he was, and he would be damned if he didn't act like a good one.

 

Always put everyone before yourself. That was his rule.

 

 _"It's not like I hate it,"_ he thought after waking Jaehwan first. Jaehwan was always first - if you didn’t want to be late.

 

No, it's definitely not that he hated it, he actually even kind of loved it. Hakyeon always loved taking care of people and being useful, and he was extremely happy to be there for the people he cared about.

 

And his bandmates were no exception to that. For them, it was to the extent that maybe he cared a little too much sometimes. Or maybe, he loved them a little bit too much.

 

 _"It's just... I wonder… Is it even worth it?"_ he asked himself while waking Wonshik. He always woke him up second, after Jaehwan, just in case he fell asleep again.

 

The thing was, he told himself that it _was_ worth it because he thought he was pretty obvious with things he did to show how much he cared for them.

 

He would always tell them, "I'm always here to help you, you know. Even in your… embarrassing moments.” or "Oh... I'm flexible, and if it can be useful to you sometimes, I’ll help... if you need it."

 

But no, either they fake their obliviousness to him, or they just didn't need him like this. Which was fine by him, really. Except... it wasn't.

 

 _"Am I really not that worthy of their recognition?"_ he pondered while brushing his teeth with the others. Oral hygiene was always most important, especially as an idol and you meet so many people.

 

He ponders because, if they were really oblivious, it meant his members didn't even _think_ about what he does. Which was a little rude if you ask him because he actually thought about this a lot.

 

If it was because he was a man - details are not important here - he made a pretty girl too! Wasn't he chosen as one of the prettiest male idols in drag? His title should at least help him there. But again, no. They’re just oblivious.

 

"--Hakyeon?"

 

Snapping out of his previous thoughts, he looked around him and noticed that when he was spaced out, he had managed to wake everyone up and prepare himself at the same time.

 

Ah, such a good leader he was, so caring, so perfect. It was sad that the only people he actually wanted to notice it were such oblivious morons. Anyway, Taekwoon.

 

"Yes?”

 

“You were zoning out. We're leaving." And he turned his back to go walk out the door with the others.

 

Ah, his Taekwoon was such an attractive man. So anime-like and so cute at the same time.

 

Sure he was taciturn and didn't show his love very much, but Hakyeon was sure he loved him back. Because really, they were soulmates, you know? That's what the fans said.

 

 _"And they're always right, our Starlights,"_ he nodded to himself with a big grin on his face. For some reason, he didn't feel as tired as before when he got into the car and next to Wonshik, who was already slipping back into dreamland. _"Ah, another cute one,”_ he thought while carefully moving Wonshik’s head on his shoulder, determined to not wake him before they arrived. He loved these moments the most, when one of his precious bandmates let him do something for them. And even with Ravi, when it was only by letting him sleep comfortably on his shoulder, honestly, most of the time Hakyeon was happy with just that.

 

But unfortunately, things weren't always as he wished because for some reason, Hyuk and Jaehwan were being particularly loud this morning. Which was strange in the first place because they never were like this, nobody was like this at this hour of the day. Even more, all the, “Be quiet!”’s and the evil glares he sent failed to shut them up.

 

"Yah!” he snapped. “You two! Listen to your leader and shut your mouths. Wonshik is trying to sleep here.”

 

“But hyung,” Hyuk whined, “he's _always_ sleeping! It's not gonna hurt him if he doesn't sleep this time!”

 

“What are you even doing? You're usually not this active in the morning. Hell, nobody should be like this at seven in the morning!”

 

“It doesn't concern you, hyung. Old people like you don’t get it,” Hyuk answered with a cocky grin on his face.

 

Jaehwan was just beside him laughing really hard at this for, at least what Hakyeon knew, no reason. And as it always goes when you’re in VIXX, Hakyeon got angry and shouted at the maknae to, ‘learn how to respect your elders’. Which of course woke Wonshik up, and placed him in his current predicament of him looking grumpy as hell, and glaring daggers at Hakyeon like it was his fault. And the duo was still laughing.

 

And _then,_ for some reason, Hakyeon’s fatigue decided to come back with the strength of a fucking car crash. Even if he did find the strength to bicker with his bandmates, something still felt off.

 

It was only after they arrived at the music show, and had to do some weird passing-food-from-mouth-to-mouth game paired with Hongbin, and was watching his bandmates while he was waiting for their turn to go on stage to perform Dynamite, that he knew why he felt so tired.

 

He felt unloved, which really sucked.

 

_“It's not that they don't love me, right?”_

 

Sure they didn't seem to accept his affection - even the most platonic of it - they always reject him when he touches them, they always tease him about everything he does, like his skin color, but that was just a way to show appreciation, right?

 

Not everyone loves the same.

 

They said how much of a great leader he was on an interview once. That probably means something, right? They always say the same things in interviews. Sometimes, if he’s lucky, even on other cameras.

 

It's just sad they only get the _idea_ to admit it to his face or in private. But he can manage with just that knowledge, right?

 

Except, he can't because he wasn't sure if they were being honest then. And, well, it hurts a little bit. It always hurts when you're the only one in love.

 

Now he was depressed. Great. The best mood to have before going on stage. He couldn't wait to be in bed late that night and cry himself to sleep all alone. Like any normal person. Em, no. He was N of VIXX and they never do anything like everyone else! Even when they’re depressed.

 

If he could for one day, he would want to see his fucking “guardian angel” and tell him how bad of a job he was doing. Granted, he’d probably end it ripping the so-called ”angel”’s balls off, but- wait. Do angels even have penises? Weren't they supposed to be born without sex? Wasn’t there a word for that...?

 

“-Sunbaenim?”

 

Unfortunately for him, his question would never be answered because of this guy who had just interrupted his thinking. How rude.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Can I sit here?” He asked. “There's nowhere else to sit right now...”

 

Hakyeon looked around him and saw that he indeed was in the only corner of the waiting room where nobody else was. God, now that he thinks about it, he probably looked really pitiful, just sulking on his own in the dark area of the waiting room.

 

He looked up at the boy, yes, the _boy_ because honestly, he couldn't be much older than his precious maknae - who would always be a baby to him. And _oh my god,_ was this boy handsome.

 

Not as handsome as his bandmates of course - nobody can beat them in his heart; he would forever be their first fanboy - but honestly, between all the idols he had ever seen since their debut, this boy was by far one of the most handsome.

 

Although he had sharp features, his face still looked very soft. He didn't seem to be very tall, but he wasn’t short either, and his hair color was a mix between white and blue. Hakyeon had never been good with colors to be honest, but it looked perfect on the boy’s pure white skin (he thought for a second that he and the boy would look great together, but the thought was erased just as fast it came).

 

But what Hakyeon liked the most about his face was his eyes. He had these strong, intense, beautiful eyes that could kill with just one look - and his stylists seemed to know about it with how they applied his eye makeup. They were absolutely stunning. At the same time, they looked full of passion. Huh... Interesting.

 

“Yeah, of course. No problem.” He even gave him his big “I'm-a-good-sunbae-who-takes-care-of-the-younger-ones,-please-have-a-seat,-I-would-be-really-happy-to-be-with-you-right-now,-learning-all-about-your-group-which,-depending-on-your-agency-and-your-public-appeal,-will-be-more-popular-than-mine,-but-that's-okay,-I'm-actually-very-happy-with-my-own-fame-thank-you-very-much” smile.

 

“Thank you sunbaenim. I'm Taeyong by the way, from NCT 127.”

 

“Oh. A new band I assume?”

 

“Yeah, from SM.”

 

“Ah, that's great. I'm good friends with EXO you know.”

 

“I know, sunbae.”

 

“That’s good...”

 

Now it was awkward. He expected as much but it was always a little bit embarrassing to be in this situation in the first place.

 

But SM, huh? He heard of NCT and the new concept of “infinite expansion” of the band and all that. Even if it was extremely confusing, he thought it would be interesting.

 

He would listen to their new song because if this guy was here, it was probably because of promotions and not just to wander around looking for cookies or something. Cookies were rare in the backstage of any music show because they were full of idols on diets. So yes, no cookies.

 

“Sunbaenim?” Oh, well the boy was at least courageous

 

“Yes?”

 

“You don't look like you feel too well, did something happen? Are you okay?”

 

And that startled him. Because now, if the just-debuted boys could tell he wasn't feeling good, he shouldn't try to act anymore, and he should never again answer back to any kind of propositions for dramas.

 

“And why would I tell you something like that?”

 

Maybe that came a little harsher than intended. The boy frowned - gosh those eyes - but still looked bold enough to answer.

 

“Well, someone once said, that it's easier to talk to people we barely know to get rid of our feelings and burdens. It could help you by talking to me, you know. And I'm an idol as well, so I can’t give out any kind of information you give me without getting myself in trouble. That sounds like a fair deal, does it not?”

 

Well, he did have a point.

 

But honestly, stranger or not, it's not easy to say “Well, I love my bandmates to the point where I want them to use me as they please, even sexually. But they don't love me back and that kind of sucks.”  Definitively not easy.

 

"You know, my problems are grown-up problems and I would feel bad to tell them to a kid.”

 

“I'm almost 21 years old, sunbae!”

 

“Yeah, a kid. You're the same age as my maknae.”

 

“And I'm one of the oldest in my band."

 

That had Hakyeon give him a look of pure horror. Oh my God, was he really as old as Hyuk always said he was? 26 years old wasn't that bad, right? He doesn't have white hair yet! (Well that doesn't count because it’s been way too long since he last saw his true hair color. So yeah, that didn’t really count.)

 

"But anyway.” He continues. “I’m sure I can still help. I promise I'll not judge. If I find it really bad, I could just ignore you for the rest of my career. The industry is big enough for that.”

 

“...Right.”

 

Hakyeon looked into his gorgeous eyes, trying to find something to dissuade himself from talking to this kid, but he found nothing except for his beautiful eyes.

 

Really, they should be illegal.

 

So he looked around him, being careful that nobody could hear them and started to speak before he could regret his poor life choices, "Well, you know VIXX, right?”

 

“That's your band, sunbae. Of course I know. You’re N-ssi.”

 

“Right, of course. I have a problem with my band in general.”

 

“Teamwork problems?”

 

“No, not really. Well... kinda? It's not the same teamwork issues you see in every band.  Anyway, it's just that, this morning, I woke up feeling kinda off for no reason. And after a tough morning, I only just now realized as I was sitting alone in this chair, that my band doesn't love me. At least not like I do.”

 

“Not like you do? What does that mean?”

 

“I want to be used by them. To make them feel good. I want to cuddle them to death while saying how perfect they are and how much I love them. Then when they feel loved enough, I want them to use my body as they please. To do whatever they want. The problem is that they don't seem to understand that, or seem to want me at all. And now I'm talking to some stranger, a _rookie_ even more, about my nonexistent sex life with my group. And that probably means that my life sucks. Who wants to fuck his bandmates anyway? I mea--”

 

“Me."

 

That had the power to shut Hakyeon up, and he was sure if his band was here, they would look at Taeyong like he was some kind of god that just appeared. But they weren't here. Thank god.

 

“What?” he asks stupidly.

 

“I mean, yeah I want my bandmates, not like you, but I can understand your feelings - oh god, I never thought I'd ever talk about that with anyone, how did you just do that?”

 

“You asked me!”

 

“I didn't think it would be about something like this! Wanting to be fucked by your bandmates isn't a problem I expected from anyone else than me! Oh my god, I should shut up now.”

 

“Oh, no, no, no! It's interesting, I wanna hear this.”

 

“N-ssi, I don't-”

 

“Please, call me hyung or Hakyeon-hyung. We share something now." Hakyeon sent him a big happy grin but Taeyong just looked at him in disbelief.

 

"So, my new favorite dongsaeng - after my band - tell me your problem.” He said, throwing his arm over Taeyong's shoulders.

 

“I think I can make you feel better if you talk to me as well, don't you think?"

 

Taeyong just sighed but didn't say anything to stop him. "Well..."

 

And now we start flashback #2, but this time in the NCT dorm.

 

_It all started with their ‘Firetruck’ promotions..._

 

Taeyong didn't wake up this morning feeling bad about himself like Hakyeon had. It was honestly a pretty boring morning. It was their first performance and they definitely weren't ready.

 

No, Taeyong didn't felt bad about himself, but about everything else. And that was something different. He should have woken up earlier, he should have woken up his bandmates faster - which was not easy especially when you have to wake up 13 members of your band, and 6 of them didn't even promote the song with you.

 

But he was the leader, and as such, he had new responsibilities he didn't even know existed before.

 

He was extremely determined to be good at his new job. He didn't wait years of training to be a failure now. Lee Taeyong wasn't a failure, and he would be perfect at everything he did. At least that was the image he wanted to keep. But that doesn't mean he didn't had any weakness or anything of the sort.

 

One of his weaknesses, a big one even, was his band. NCT. Not just NCT 127, but the whole pack.

 

**"Oh, so we _do_ have something else in common!”**

 

**“Can I just finish, please?"**

 

And honestly, contrary to what other people think, it's not that he thought they didn't love him back-

 

**"That hurts, you know."**

 

**“Would you shut it? I’m _trying_ to talk here!”**

 

-it's just that, some of them didn't love him as he wished they would.

 

You see there's something about Taeyong in the way that he acts that just says, "lean on me.” You don’t want to take care of him, you want to him do just that for you. And it was okay with him, he loved them, he could take care of them for the rest of his life.

 

The problem was, sometimes he just really wanted to be treated like the maknaes. He wanted them same kind of affection the older members showered them with and not just the nice smile and the “I depend on you, hyung!” hug he usually gets.

 

But he wasn’t cute or young enough for that treatment. He was just Taeyong, the apparent ‘95 liner with piercing glares, sharp features and not a hint of cuteness in him.

 

And well, he would have been okay with everything if his problems were just limited to his lack of affection from his bandmates, but no. He also wanted them. Sexually. Life’s great, isn’t it? There were never enough problems for him.

 

Of course, that was limited to only some members, not all of them. He would be screwed if he thought about Jisung like that.

 

These particular members were the ones that didn’t show their care for him. He just wanted them to take care of him a little bit. To show him they loved him. To do… other things as well.

 

But to his great dismay, him wanting to be submissive and everything didn’t seem to be something his bandmates understood.

 

So yeah, Taeyong came to the music show feeling stressed out for his almost-failure of a comeback, and sad because he realized more and more that his wish of being cared for was just a fucking dream.

 

And it was when he thought about this that had he noticed the ever so famous VIXX leader, sad and alone. He decided to at least try to talk to him because hey, even if we’re feeling like shit we should try to be together right?

 

“... And that was probably one of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made in my whole life.”

 

“Oh come on, don’t be like that. You’re my new favorite dongsaeng! You’re right though, we’re both in a kind of situation that we shouldn’t be alone in. In fact, I just got an idea. A brilliant one even!”

 

At that, Hakyeon smiled really brightly, and Taeyong started feeling scared. What just did he himself get into?

 

If kindness was rewarded by such things, he should have been an asshole since the beginning.

 

His parents were right, you don’t tend to get in trouble when you’re not always nice. He asks the Hakyeon, “Do I _really_ wanna know?”

 

“Yes! I think you might like it. You see-”

 

“NCT 127! You’re on in 10 minutes! Stand-by!” the stage manager called, motioning for them to gather around him.

 

Hakyeon didn’t look pleased at the call, but said nothing.

 

“Ah, Hakyeon-hyung it’s been really nice to meet you and all, but I should go now, s-”

 

“WAIT!” Hakyeon shouts, gathering the attention of all the other idols in the waiting room at the same time.

 

“Give me your Katalk ID. I’ll add you. I’ve an idea that could help us both with our problems.”

 

“How...?”

 

Even if Taeyong wanted to just go on stage and never talk to him again - gosh this was one hell of a conversation - he was curious now. And let’s face it, if this guy had some idea to help him get rid of this empty feeling inside his chest when he looked at band, he’d probably deal with him every day of his goddamn life.

 

Hakyeon just smiled knowingly at that. “You want to be taken care of, right? To be cuddled to death, to hear how cute you are and much you did well right?”

 

“…Yeah.”

 

“And I want to take care of my bandmates, cuddled them to death and let them hear how awesome they are. Right?”

 

“…Yeah?” He seemed to start to understand where this was going, and wasn’t feeling so hot about the idea.

 

“So, my little Taeyonggie, my new favorite child, let’s try to help each other a little bit. Give me your ID, and maybe we can work something out for both of us. Don’t you think it’s a good idea?”

 

And honestly, he didn’t think it was. There were way too many risks and problems.

 

First off, Hakyeon wasn’t his precious bandmates. Secondly, even if he was absolutely certain about this - Hakyeon probably left this part out on purpose - their… sexual fantasies didn’t collide ‘en pointe’ and were too similar on other parts to really work.

 

If he judged Hakyeon’s expression right, he did know about it. But even with all that, even with the knowledge that it was terrible idea…

 

He agreed.

 

“…Ok.”

 

And just like that, with Hakyeon’s big smile, Taeyong’s awkward posture, the stage manager shoo-ing at him to be faster, and an ID which was given too fast, he gave a chance to himself and Hakyeon to try something new.

 

Because even with all the consequences it could garner, it could never be worse than the feeling of emptiness inside his chest. And with a last glance towards VIXX’s leader, he walked up to the stage feeling just a little bit lighter than he had before.


	2. Why Did I Accept Again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone it's been a while! I'm sorry >

Honestly speaking, Taeyong almost forgot about his meeting with Hakyeon today. It was early in the morning and after the talk, he was so busy he almost couldn’t even think about eating or going to the bathroom. The key word here is almost. Because when he had finally finished all of his schedules, got back to the dorm, took a shower, and was going to sleep, he finally remembered all of this, and the fact that, yes he did give his Katalk ID to Hakyeon, and yes he did agree to his weird proposition. Thinking of it all made him remember his day, how he felt jealous for no apparent reason of Mark being spoiled as always by Jaehyun, and how awkward the boy was protesting by saying that he should stop it and that he wasn’t a baby anymore. Somehow, it made him even madder than before. Mark didn’t know how lucky he was to be this young, to be treated like this. He would give a lot to have Jaehyun wrapping his arms around him to whisper how well he did today.

Oh and Donghyuk didn’t count. He was a little shit. No one treat him like this anyway. And he didn’t complain. So - yeah.

Even now, back at home he was the one making dinner. Yeah, he loved it, but sometimes he wished to just sit and be served and just… be spoiled. Or even better, still being the one making dinner - because let’s face it, he loved doing it - but having his members actually appreciating what he was doing. Not just the small “Thanks hyung” or “Thanks Taeyong-ah, it’s great.” Maybe he was being selfish, heck he was sure he was. But he couldn’t help it. He was craving for their affection like a little boy and they didn’t give it to him. And that’s exactly why he agreed to Hakyeon proposition, he felt unloved. Just not the same way as Hakyeon. And honestly he felt a little bit bad for him, because the way he described his relationship with his bandmates was something he would probably die from. At least he had kind smiles, not mean grins. He wondered if he had exaggerated because it didn’t seem to be like that. But again, if he felt like it was, it didn’t matter in the first place. Speaking of Hakyeon, he just noticed that he forgot to check his phone all day. He wondered if he actually sent him something.

And yes, after looking, he noticed that he did actually have some notifications.

ChaInyeon added you

“Hey favorite dongsaeng ^o^/! Add me it’s Hakyeon hyung <3

“There were so many bands before us at Music Bank today, you’re lucky to be a rookie ;~;

“I was alone without u TT

“That’s the name of one of your song right? I listen to them kkkkk

“Ah, but you’re not in this one

“7th sense? I loved your moves :DDDD Hyung dances a lot too! We should do something together when we’ll be celebrity besties <3

“Are you here???

“Yah! Lee Taeyong! Don’t you dare to ignore me!

“I’ll get angry è-é!

“Plz we should discuss about a meeting and everything you know ;~;?

“Taeyong-aaaaaaah

“L”

…. Did he just get a stalker? He didn’t know if he should be afraid or laugh, because it was actually funny.

“Sorry Hyung, I was busy. Didn’t check my phone.

“Yes that’s us. Thank you. And yes we should talk, I guess.”

Taeyong didn’t have the time to put his phone down before it vibrates in his hand.

“Oh, Taeyongie I missed you <3.

“I knew you couldn’t ignore me, you’re a good boy :D”

At these words he blushed just a little bit. He couldn’t help it, these kind of words always make him like that, all warm inside. Sure it wasn’t as strong as it could be with his bandmates, but the compliment was enough to make him smile.

“Thank you Hyung, we’ll talk tomorrow I’m tired.”

“Good night Taeyongie <3”

“Good night Hyung :)”

“--Who are you talking to?”

Taeyong let out a little (manly) noise at that. Which was more of a scream to be honest. But to be fair, he really didn’t expect someone to be behind him right now. He didn’t even know someone was in the room. When did he arrive? Why was he on his bed? And why the hell he didn’t he notice any of it? Yuta laughed at him and he just wanted to hide with how embarrassed he was right now. But hiding was never a good solution and it won't work anyway. You just have to wait until your roommate calms himself so you can move on with your life.

“Oh my god your face! You should have heard yourself, it was epic! I should have recorded this!”

Well. He’ll probably never move on with his life now. What a shame. He did really believe it for a minute. He asked, “…When did you get here anyway? I didn’t hear you.”

“Are you serious?” Yuta gave him a look of disbelief. “I came here like three minutes ago, I even announced myself too! But you were so engrossed with whoever you’re talking to on your phone that you didn’t even notice.”

“Really?” He was surprised. Engrossed? It wasn’t like what Hakyeon said was that entertaining in the first place.

“Of course! And you even had this little grin on your face. It was almost cute you know? You should be careful if you keep doing this. Someone is gonna mistake you for our maknae and not our fearful leader,” Yuta had this big grin on his face, clearly teasing him.

“Would it be that bad?”

Shit. He wasn’t supposed to say that. Taeyong, remember, think and THEN talk! Don’t do both at the same time! Yuta just looked confused, like he didn’t understand what Taeyong said. So he wasn’t surprised when Yuta only said, “Huh?”

“I mean…uh. I mean, my grin, was it that bad? I could try to practice it, you know for the fans. Right…?”

There was no way Yuta would bought that. Not only he was a shitty liar, but he was also sure he didn’t even make sense, there was no way that--

“Oh right! Sorry, I misunderstood you for a second. Well, yeah. I guess? But you should leave the cute stuff to the maknaes. They manage cuteness much better than you. Don’t worry.”

Well, he felt really sick now. He knows he shouldn’t blame Yuta for that, who even gave him his big, bright smile, the one even Hani fell for (and Taeyong but apparently nobody give a damn). But even with that, it just confirmed what he already knows. And now he felt even more tired than before.

“…Right. Tell Taeil Hyung to come to sleep. We have to wake up early tomorrow.”

“I will, don’t worry.” Yuta was leaving the room when he seemed to remember something. “Ah, you didn’t answer. Who you were talking with?  
“Aaaah, nobody important, now go to sleep.”

Yuta gave him a suspicious look but said nothing and did as he was told.

The last thing Taeyong did before sleeping was to send a message to Hakyeon saying:  
“We should really agree on a particular day to meet up, Hyung.”

…

When Taeyong thought about it, he should have guessed earlier. He should have known that they would see each other the next day at another music show. VIXX only made their comeback 10 days ago, of course they’d still be promoting their new songs. What made him feel a little bit better was that Hakyeon seemed as surprised as he was. They were facing each other, looking right at each other’s right eyes, and well, they probably looked really dumb. They also weren’t alone, they were with their respective bands, who looked at them weirdly. Well, at least his band, because the VIXX members didn’t seem to really care. Except Leo - What was his real name again? - who looked at him and his band with killer eyes. If he remembers Hakyeon words last night correctly, it was his normal expression, so there’s no reason to worry.

He gave Hakyeon a desperate look anyway, hoping he’d do something now, like disappear. Unfortunately for him, Hakyeon didn’t understand his glance like that, and started to smile while approaching him. “Taeyong-ah! You didn’t tell Hyung you were still promoting today!” Hakyeon said while giving him a hug.

He sweared he heard someone gasp behind him, - Mark maybe? - when he… hugged Hakyeon back. He could perfectly see Leo - Really, what was his real name? - making a weird face, like he didn’t expect someone to hug back. Excuse him for being polite!

“Sorry, Hakyeon-hyung. You didn’t tell me as well,” he says.

“Ah, true! Guess we’re both wrong ahahaha.”

He could almost feel his bandmates thinking with how hard they were staring at his back, he could feel it burning him. He felt kind of offended, was it that weird for him to make friends quickly? He was only a little bit awkward not some antisocial monster!

“When are you going on stage, Yongie?”

“Huh? In 15 minutes maybe? Something like that.”

“Well there’s enough time to talk in just a little bit! Come on, let’s go.” And before he could say anything, Hakyeon grabbed his hand and pull him into a dark corner - He seemed to really like them, dark corners - in the waiting room. He took one last glance at his band, who seemed very confused now, and at VIXX, who now all seemed to care and looked at Taeyong with a weird expression. Well, so much for being discreet.

“Hyung, weren’t we supposed to be a little bit more… careful about that?” he finally said after a long minute of the two of them just staring.

It seemed to finally snap Hakyeon out of his reverie because he told him with a smile,  
“Why? We can show we’re trying to be friends. I don’t know about your band, but with mine, they don’t exactly think, ‘They’re going to do some intense cuddling and not have a friendly session together and maybe more!’ when I make a new friend, you know?”

He did have a point. “But why did your bandmates seem really… shocked when I talk to you back?”

“Oh, that’s just because they’ve never seen you before and they thought you were just some guy I talked to one time and thought we were going to be bffs.”

“… But we really just saw each other one time though.”

“Details, details. That’s not important. Can you give me your schedule, please?”

“Huh?” He didn’t expect that.

Hakyeon just sighed, “You know, your schedule. To know when you’re free so we can meet up.

“Oh, right. Sorry.”

Taeyong felt a little bit dumb. But to be fair it wasn’t very easy to get used to this… situation. When he awkwardly gave it him, Hakyeon just smiled at him while writing it down in his phone. Is this guy born to smile? He asked, “Why are you always smiling so much, Hyung?”

“What?”

“You’re always smiling, ever since yesterday. Even if there’s nothing to smile about.”

“Oh that…” Hakyeon was pensive for a second before he stared straight into Taeyong’s eyes and said with a big smile, “It’s because Taeyongie is so cute, I can’t help myself!”

Let’s just say that Taeyong was a sputtering mess after that. He really didn’t expect that and now he was blushing really hard while Hakyeon looked smug.

“Waaaa, so cute. With expressions like this I could just hug you until the end of time, would you like that?”

“D-don’t do that!”

“Why not?”

“… You’re just testing things out, aren’t you?” he asked him, because he didn’t see any other reason for him to saying things like that. He wasn’t cute.

“Hmm, right” See? “But I really do think you’re cute.” Well. Fuck his life. His face was going to be red for a long time now. It’s time to change the subject.

“So, when could we meet up?”

“Well, seeing your schedule with mine, I noticed that we don’t have that much time to do anything for a very long time. But…”

“But?”

“I can make time for you next week, on a Saturday. You didn’t plain to do anything I hope?”

“I didn’t even know it was a free day.”

“Don’t worry, by the end of the year you’ll know all your free times by heart. Believe me.”  
“Huh…”

“I’ll send you a message about where we should meet up. I’ll have to find some kind of hotel, but a discreet one. Oh, and try to find some kind of excuses to tell your band. Mine wouldn’t care but yours probably would.”

Taeyong didn’t really know what to say to this. He wasn’t honestly sure his band would question if he disappeared in the morning and got back late at night. They won’t worry over him, he was “their strong leader” and nothing could happen to him. Honestly, he shouldn’t be so bitter about this, it’s supposed to be a good thing, to be reliable, to be someone you can trust not to do anything stupid. But not to him apparently.

“Okay, Hyung I’ll try.”

Hakyeon looked like he was going to say something but he was interrupted by NCT 127’s manager screaming, “Kids! It’s your time, get here right now!”

“Is this going to be a regular thing? Me being interrupted?” Hakyeon looked a little annoyed at that but Taeyong just smiled. Weirdly, he felt good with VIXX’s leader. Sure he still thought he was weird and he was still a little bit afraid of his strange “I’m always in a good mood” smile, but he liked him somehow.

“Later, Hyung. I’ll be going now.”

And he left, going back to his bandmates who still looked at him suspiciously until Yuta finally open his mouth, “Was it him?”

“What?” Taeyong gave him a confused look at those words, he didn’t expect that question.

“Yesterday. Was it him you were talking with on your phone?”

“Oh…” He glanced briefly at his band, who was listening closely to the exchange, but Taeyong really didn’t understand why. “Yes it was him, why?”

“Nothing, Taeyong-ah. Nothing,” and he left his side, going back near Donghyuk to ruffle his hair. The later just gave him a confused smile and Taeyong a weird look.

Oh for God sake. “Can someone explain to me why you all are looking at me like that? Is it that weird I’m making friends?”

He didn’t want to snap. Really, but after his conversation with, Hakyeon he could feel their stares burning his skin. Now, they all just looked surprised at that, except Yuta who just looked like nothing happened.

“-It’s not that Hyung,” said Jaehyun. “You just looked, different with him. That’s all.” He finished with a little smile, obviously trying to calm him down. Well, it worked, but that was just because he was weak with his bandmates. Feelings suck.

He sighed. “Different, right. Of course.”

“Yes, like, how do I say this? Less aggressive?”

“Right,” he sighed again. This didn’t make any sense. “Let’s just go. We shouldn’t be late.”

Jaehyun gave him a weird look, but just nodded. The others said nothing. He sighed for the third time, it was going to be a long day.

…

Hakyeon watched Taeyong go. This kid was going to hit it big later, he was sure of it. He had the charisma, the talent, and the freaking eyes. He was the best all together. He’d be there to see it, he can feel it in his bones. And he would be his proud mother and cry his heart out while they win the “Rookie Award” at MAMA and always be there for him. He could already see it!

“--Hakyeon?”

He yelped at that and turned around quickly to see Taekwoon just behind him, looking at him with his poker face. And beside him, the others with this… strange face.

“Yes, Taekwoonie? Do you need something?” he said, with his usual smile on. It was rare that Taekwoon was the first one to talk, so it probably meant that it was important. But what really concerned him the most was how silent his bandmates were. It was so out of character that it scared him a little bit.

“No. Who was that?” Well, let all trust Taekwoon to be straight forward about what he wanted.

“Oh, Taeyong-ah. You know, from NCT. The new SM band?”

“What Taekwoon Hyung means is, how the fuck did you met each other?” Hakyeon gave a disapproving look to Hyuk at this. First, you don’t interrupt people, it’s rude, second, you don’t swear! Kids should not swear like that!

“You shouldn’t talk like that, Hyukkie! It’s bad, imagine if a fan heard you right now?”

“Oh come on, don’t do that and just answer the question.”

“Yeah, Hyung. We’re really curious where you met such an interesting new friend,” Irony definitely didn’t suit Hongbin at all, especially with that fake smile on his face.

But now it was Hakyeon’s turn to be confused as hell, why were they interrogating him? It wasn’t the first time he made a friend and talk to him later at a music show. He said, “Uh, yesterday wee talked with together and clicked well. That’s all. What the fuss is all about?”

“Hyung,” Wonshik started carefully, “you just seemed to have known him for years, with how you acted around him, and even if you warm up to people easily, you don’t act that…”

“What he’s trying to say Hyung, is that you don’t act like this around strangers. Especially if you only met just one time for 15 minutes.”

Yes, they were right, he didn’t. But it didn’t matter, he just liked the kid. Nothing wrong with that right? “Oh you’re right! I guess I just thought he was a great kid. It happens sometimes, you know? You shouldn't worry, Hyung has it all under control!” 

Jaehwan just scoffed at that, and suddenly the tension in the air that he didn’t even feel until now calmed down, and everyone else seemed more relaxed. Hakyeon still didn’t have any clue on why there was any tension in the first place but if everyone was feeling good now, it was okay with him.

So he just smiled at them, like he always does, fondly. And everything went back to normal, once again.

After that, nothing much happened. Except they still saw each other at music shows. They didn’t talk that much face to face though, neither wanting to repeat the accident of last time. Just a wave of hands and a smile. But with their phones, it was a totally different story. They arranged a meet-up, talked about their everyday life and of course, a lot about their bandmates.

After what they call, The Accident, Taeyong always tried to hide a little when he talked to Hakyeon, which was stupid if you asked him because it wasn’t like he did anything wrong. But his bandmates reaction, especially Yuta’s, scared him. He hated having his members ignoring or being mad at him. And on this particular day, Yuta did ignore him a bit. For what? He didn’t know. The next day everything was back to normal again and he couldn’t feel more relieved.

This is it, thought Taeyong, looking at his phone to be sure to he was at the right place. A few days ago, Hakyeon sent him the address of some kind of private hotel not too far away from his dorm but far enough not to cross the path of someone he knows. It was also in a low traffic area where he actually felt a little bit alone standing there by himself.

“Be sure to bring your mask and cap. You’re going to take the back door but we’re never safe enough, right?

“Mmmh, excuse me, Miss?” he shyly asked the girl at the counter.

“Hi! How can I help you, sir?” she asked him, with a very sharply shaped smile, one you can tell had been practiced for.

“My friend reserved a room… ummm, 302? Under the name… ‘Fate’?” Seriously. It was bad.

“Ah yes! Your friend told me you’d come. Here’s your key, have a nice stay!”

He gave her a polite smile and entered the elevator in silence. It was too early in the morning to be so concerned with people, really. 8 am. His only day off and he wasted it by waking up at 7 o’clock. He left a note at the dorm saying he was going to pay a visit to his parents, in case they forgot what he said yesterday when they all announced what they were going to do.

The elevator opened its doors. Taeyong took a deep breath before stepping out and took a second to calm himself. He was starting to feel stressed. He took one step at a time in the corridor, walking slowly towards his destination. And finally, he found it. Room 302.

He sighed a little bit, was hesitant at first, but finally, with a strong grip, opened the door.

It was time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? How was it =)?  
> I want to thanks my editor once again Sidney and her friend for their amazing job love you <3.


	3. Why I am Here Again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorryyyyyyyy for the delay T-T. Really I've nothing else to say besides that. I'm sorry. Hope this chapter will not disapoint you too much xD.  
> Oh and you probably noticed me adding a co-author. It's my beta-reader, it's just to make things easier to correct and things like this so don't worry too much about it ^^.

“Hakyeon-hyung, are you here?”

Taeyong entered the room with hesitating steps while pronouncing those words. He started to freak out and there was a big chance you could see it on his face as realization of what’s going to happen hit him with each step he took. 

“Come in Taeyong-ah! I’m in the bathroom, just wait a minute.”

He sighed a little bit. He still had a few minutes before all of this, just enough to try to collect himself before Hakyeon saw him this way and start to worry and tell him something like, “we don’t have to do this, you know.” He didn’t want that. He wanted this, whatever it was. They didn’t really talk about what they were going to do, Hakyeon told him to come here this specific day and that was it. Sure they talked a lot about their bandmates and their unreceived needs, which was a good start, but he didn’t know if they were going to do anything like what their conversations were about (and honestly, he wasn’t sure Hakyeon wanted to dominate and use him. And well, he didn’t think he wanted that right now either).

To calm himself a bit, he tried to look around and see what the room looked like. It wasn’t anything fancy, just a large-sized bed in the center, a TV hooked to the wall, a small commode next to the bed, and a door on the left leading to the bathroom where Hakyeon was now.

Ah no... He wasn’t ready when Taeyong saw the door open and a Hakyeon come right after, leaving the bathroom. Taeyong wasn’t ready at all. Hakyeon just watched him with a big smile on his face - seriously when was this guy  _ not _ smiling? – and gave him a gesture indicating him to sit on the bed. But when Taeyong didn’t move, he looked worried. 

“Are you okay? You seem troubled.” 

He didn’t answer that either. He tried, really, but each time he opened his mouth to talk, he couldn’t manage to make any sounds. It wasn’t that he couldn’t, he just didn’t know what to say. And now he was afraid Hakyeon would do something too nice like saying, “you don’t have to,” and then he’ll blame himself for the end of time for not saying, “I’m okay, Hyung, don’t worry,” and regret it for the rest of his pathetic life. 

But the older didn’t do that. He just walked slowly toward him and took his hand softly while locking their gazes, giving him assuring eyes. Let’s just say Taeyong was surprised and didn’t look very smart with his mouth open like this. Hakyeon pulled him gently on the bed and took a seat by his side while still holding his hand. He didn’t say anything for a couple minutes and only drew circles on his palm, probably to sooth him a bit. They stayed like that for what seemed to be hours for Taeyong but were just actually a few minutes, until the younger took a breath and said, “I’m okay. Just, I don’t know what to expect. Sorry, Hyung.”

Hakyeon didn’t say anything for a moment and  just squeezed his hand a bit more. “Don’t worry. We’re not gonna do anything we’re both uncomfortable with. Remember, this meeting is supposed to make us feel better, not the opposite.”

Taeyong relaxed at these words. And apparently Hakyeon could tell because his smile brightened - if it was possible - right after. He let go of his hand gently and pat his thighs, looking at Taeyong in the eyes, “Come here, Taeyong-ah, let’s start.”

And he did as he was told. He lied down on Hakyeon’s lap, feeling just a bit weird doing it, and said nothing. It was uncomfortable at first since he couldn’t find the best way to position himself, but after moving for a moment, he found a spot where he didn’t have to spin his neck and die a terrible and shameful death. It was odd at first because he could look straight into Hakyeon’s eyes with little ability to look away, and he just saw… affection. Don’t get him wrong, Hakyeon had looked at him like he was a precious diamond before, but this was different somehow. They were closer, the situation was different now, and there was just something in his eyes that just screamed love.

“So what do you wanna do?” Hakyeon asked.

That was a good question that he didn’t even know how to answer. As he said earlier, he didn’t think that much about it until he walked inside the room, which was not even 10 minutes before. 

“I don’t know. What you want to do, Hyung? We can start with you.”

Hakyeon just hummed at that and started running his hand in Taeyong’s locks softly, massaging his scalp and relaxing Taeyong at the same time. 

“Let’s just talk for now. How was your week?” Hakyeon whispered, looking at Taeyong gently like he didn’t want to scare him, and somehow, Taeyong just felt more at ease in this position than before. 

“Oh, hmm, good. We did promotions, you know? Those mostly. And interviews, lots of interviews.”

“Nothing else?”

“Well no. You know how it is, you promote and practice, don’t have time for anything else. You’re basically the only person I talked to this week that wasn’t my bandmates or a journalist.”

“I see. You must have practiced really hard, no? Don’t stress yourself too much.”

“Ah thank you, Hyung. But I’m okay” 

“No no, I know that when you’re a rookie, you tend to overwork yourself much more. So listen to your Hyung and do as he says! Be careful of your back too. Hyung knows how hard you work, it’s okay, you should rest a bit.” 

Hakyeon looked at Taeyong with such soft eyes the later didn’t have the strength to protest about how his rap and dance skills still lacked, how he should practice even more or he wouldn’t be good enough to be in his band, to be the leader. His doubts and fears probably showed on his face because Hakyeon kept going:

“Really, you should have seen your stage, such presence and charisma. Whatever people state about you; they can’t take that from you. Don’t worry, you’ll get better with time. Yes, practice is important, but taking care of yourself is just as much. Listen to me okay? You already do so well. I’m proud of you.” 

And now he just wanted to blush. Hakyeon had such loving eyes and smiles, it wasn’t easy not to. He felt once again this warm feeling inside, the one he searched for with his bandmates, but barely got. It was strange, getting it by soft hands and tender smiles, by someone he met just two weeks ago, by someone he probably would never have talked to under other circumstances. 

Hakyeon probably saw his blush -which wasn’t hard to since he looked straight into his eyes since his head was on his lap- because his smile became wider when he said, “My baby did so well.”

Taeyong almost choked on his saliva at that. To say it wasn’t expected was an understatement. Honestly, a baby bird could now destroy their room with a freaking bazooka while reciting some Stallone lines and he would still not be as shocked as he is now. Baby. Hakyeon just called him  _ baby _ . He didn’t know what to think of it. It was too much and not enough at the same time. He just wanted to cover himself and hide how much his face turned red right now. The guy would be the death of him, he was sure. 

“I’m sorry, is this too much?”

He should have guessed, Hakyeon would worry over him now. Well, there wasn’t any kind of teasing in his voice and he had his famous worried face on, so Taeyong guessed he was, you know, worried. He didn’t trust himself to speak right now so he just nodded his head shyly while hiding his face in his hands. His position on Hakyeon suddenly seemed to be too much, how close they were. But he wanted to stay there as much as he wanted to escape. 

“Okay, I’m sorry. I won’t do it again until you’re comfortable. Can you forgive me?” He said giving him pouting lips and pleading eyes. Okay, in what world he could say no to that? 

Seriously this guy was the master of feeling manipulation.

“O-okay, Hyung.” 

“Great! Taeyong-ah?”

“Yes, Hyung?”

“Can I hug you?” 

Taeyong wasn’t sure if it was good for his heart right now to agree with this, but as he said earlier, they agreed to help each other out on their wanted but unreceived affections. And if Hakyeon wanted to hug him, he  would because of the nature of deal. But to be honest, the younger wanted to let him hug him. It was what he sought out of this, being showered in affection, and Hakyeon has been doing a pretty good damn job at that so far. 

So he decided to let the older do what he wanted for now, for the reason that he would also find what he himself desired in the end. 

He nodded.

“Great!”

Hakyeon tend his hands towards him, pushed him softly against his chest, and once again started to run his left hand through his locks, while the other hand served him to maintain Taeyong’s lean body against him. He was almost holding him like a child and with the caring gaze Hakyeon gave him, he felt a little bit like one as well. Except, he was pretty sure a child would not be treated like he was currently.

“You’re so pretty. You should see yourself right now, you almost look like a doll. My pretty doll,” he said with a caring smile. “You’ll look so good in a fancy dress and a nice make-up. Would you like that? Being dressed up as my doll? I’ll make feel so pretty, so loved. You’ll be the prettiest.”

Taeyong could only nod a little at that. Because yes, he wanted this. He wanted to have someone making him feel adored. He already said this numerous times and it was clear between them, but still, he appreciated the attention, and that’s what this was about. The attention, the love. Hakyeon knew what he desired. He could just imagine being dressed up by Hakyeon, being told how nice he looked. And it just makes him warm inside, to feel the caring stare and soft touches. 

“Do you think I would look nice in a pretty dress too? I can be the little girl who plays with her dolls all day.” 

That, however, was different for the reason that in his fantasies, his band would never do something like that, and it wasn’t something he wanted either. Not with them at least. But Hakyeon wasn’t his bandmates. And he had his own desires and wants. Even if their needs coincided on some things, it wasn’t the case for everything and that, was the first thing.

Taeyong didn’t want someone to play with him while dressed up as a girl. He wanted a man (somehow for this particular reverie, he always imagined Ten, it suited him) to make him feel pretty. But this whole thing wasn’t just about him, and of course, he wouldn’t like the entire thing as well as Hakyeon. 

Hakyeon could probably feel his reluctance because he stopped playing with his hair - and he kind of missed the touch, it felt nice around his scalp, making feel relaxed - and looked a little bit worried now, like he thought he said something wrong, and that really wasn’t what he wanted. 

“Yes, it would be nice,” he said with a little voice, trying to be as convincing as possible. But apparently it wasn’t enough if he judged by Hakyeon’s face right now. His hand was still not moving. 

“You don’t have to lie for me you know,” he sighed. “We agreed on being honest with our needs since the debut. You don’t like the idea. Just… admit it. It’s okay.” 

Hakyeon seemed disappointed and for some obscure reason, he didn’t like it. 

“Yes, I admit it.”

“O—”

“But I’ll be happy to do something that you enjoy as well. We can’t just do what I like. And I’m sure you’ll look pretty too.”

It was basically impossible to lie in their current position, you could see too much on the other's face, they’re were close. And that’s probably why he could finally see Hakyeon relax and smile again.

“Of course. I was, after all, chosen as one of the best kpop male idols in drag. I’ll make the prettiest girl.” 

“Not the humblest one though.”

“Hey!”

He just laughed at that. He felt comfortable in his arms once again. It felt like home and care. Sure, it wasn’t what he always wanted, but it was better than what he ever had. 

After that, nothing really happened. They stayed like that for hours, talking about everything and nothing with lots and lots of cuddling. They tried every pose and ended with finally settling on the first one they did, head on lap. They ate, Taeyong prepared something since Hakyeon asked him to bring him what he could make. He wanted to see for himself how good of a cook he was. And boy, he wasn’t disappointed, it was delicious. Then they did more cuddling. Honestly, Hakyeon wanted to try more, but he also knew that being greedy wasn’t beneficial right now. 

What they’re doing was already hard, there was no reason to make it more difficult for Taeyong or himself. And he did enjoy his time, his favorite dongsaeng was cute like this. 

But soon enough, 5pm arrived and so did the time to go back to their respective dorms. Hakyeon was reluctant to go, he was feeling worthy right now. Going back meant going back to people he loved sure, but also to somewhere he couldn’t do what he wanted with them. And that was frustrating, to always restrain yourself because you know you’ll be rejected. Taeyong didn’t do that. He was even ready to accept something he was uncomfortable with because he cared. And that meant a lot to him. The kid was precious; he couldn’t understand why his bandmates didn’t do anything or just think about it. But again, he wasn’t in their head and after watching shows with NCT with Taeyong, he wanted to know a little bit more how his group interacted with him. He was even more confused because you could see their affection, but they didn’t do anything about it. And he didn’t talk about more… private affection, but direct ones. It was like they were afraid of doing something about it. It was weird. But Hakyeon wasn’t here to judge so he didn’t. But still. 

“Taeyong,” he jolted him lightly, “it’s time to go.” 

“Oh…”

“Yeah, it’s 5 pm”

They didn’t say anything for a few minutes before getting up. When they did get up, it was silent, but not the awkward or heavy one, no, it was soothing and peaceful. 

They decided to leave one by one for security measures. Even if it wouldn’t be too weird to see them together outside, they could be friends after all, they didn’t want their bandmates to be suspicious. Well, at least Taeyong didn’t want to with how they reacted last time. Therefore, Taeyong would leave first and in approximately 30 minutes, Hakyeon would do the same. 

When Taeyong got to the door, he looked back one last time at Hakyeon, who was just as usually grinning brightly at him.

“Until next time , Taeyong-ah.” 

“Yeah,” he said while smiling slightly himself.

“Until next time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! Once again I'm sorry and it's going to be my exams period now. Kill me. Please. SO much to do. Why.


	4. Why I'm Doing This Again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...:D.
> 
> I'm sorry. 
> 
> I'm gonna repent myself by writing the next chapter thank you all to still support this story even if this chapter is bad.
> 
> AND AS ALWAYS THANK MY WONDERFUL BETA. I LOVE YOU.

“So tell me, what’s your problem?” Hakyeon asked him softly, his eyebrows furrowing in worry at the other boy’s faraway look.

“Huh?” The latter responded intelligently, glancing over at the older male. “Well, you’ve been silent for a while, little one. What’s wrong?”

“I’m not little!” Taeyong quickly protested, quickly avoiding the question “You’re just a severe amount of height taller than me.” He said indignantly, making himself sound like a child.

“And even like that, I’m the smallest in my band.” He said, lightly poking Taeyong’s nose with a fond growing smile. “Tragic story, right?” He teased.

“I’m so sad for you right now,” The younger responded drily, rolling his eyes at his hyung, “I think I might cry for you.” He teased as he wiped invisible tears from his cheeks.

“Whatever, but that’s not the point.” Hakyeon said, diverting both of their attention back to the current situation, “So, what’s wrong?” He continued, his features growing more serious, the smile leaving his usually bright face.

Taeyong looked away, the humor leaving his face instantly. “Well,” he started, pausing as if to avoid the inevitable, “I- I think it’s a little bit wrong all of... this.” He shrugged.

“I just- I get really worried, and I’m unsure about this.” He said, his eyes becoming downcast as he refused to meet Hakyeon’s gaze.

The brunette looked on him softly, “Honey, did we not already have this conversation like, two weeks ago?” He questioned.

“I’m not talking about _our_ thing, but… _that_ thing.”

There was a long pause after that.

Hakyeon looked confused for a second but the disgusted look on Taeyong’s face as he looked right where his crotch was made him understand what the problem was.

“Oh… this.”

“Yes.” Taeyong responded, sounding even more grossed out than before as he buried his head in his hands.

Hakyeon frowned, “I don’t think it’s that bad, it’s sexy, right?”

“There is _nothing_ sexy with a male thong.” The blonde said, his words muffled by his hands. “Please, never let this out again. Ever.”

“You’re no fun.” The brunette whined, his lips curled up in amusement as he flopped backwards on the bed.

“And I want to stay it that way,” he continued, “If it means you’ll never wear this again in my presence. Even better if you never wore this in _anyone’s_ presence.”

“But-”

“And it’s probably not hygienic!” he interrupted again, “So please refrain from touching me today.” He said, finality laced in his words.

Hakyeon whined, “But that’s not-”

“This is all your fault. Blame yourself.” Taeyong said, his nose turned up as he got off the bed.

 

* * *

 

“So tell me my sweet pumpkin-”

“Can you stop with the stupid nicknames?” Taeyong said, exasperated with his hyung’s pestering.

The brunette smiled devilishly, “Never!” He announced, his face getting impossibly brighter.

Taeyong looked up toward Hakyeon with an irritated face. Today Hakyeon was just a little bit more annoying than usual. That meant he was particularly happy today. This was normally a good thing if you’d asked him, but a too happy Hakyeon right now was just… irritating.

Leaning away from the older slightly, he questioned apprehensively, “Why are you so happy anyway? It’s scary.”

There, he said it.

“Hey, I was the one who was supposed to ask something!” He whined loudly, as the blonde ignored him.

“Just answer. Please.”

There was a long pause, and then a minute and a staring contest later - which never had been Taeyong’s forte - Hakyeon threw himself at Taeyong while smiling like the idiot he was, suffocating him in the process.

“Taeyong-ah do you know what date it is?” Hakyeon questioned adoringly.

After some thought the blonde responded with an intelligent, “Huh?”

“Oh! May 24th!” he said finally, realization dawning on his face. “Yes that’s right!” Hakyeon continued clapping happily, “And today it’s been exactly 4 years since VIXX’s debut!”

The smile Hakyeon was wearing was bright enough to blind anyone at the moment. And Taeyong was truly happy for him, really. But there was something bothering him.

Taeyong started, “That’s great, really. But-”

“There’s no but, it’s awesome!” Hakyeon interrupted, “You never know how long you’ll last in this industry.”

“Yes, but why are you here?” The blonde continued, glaring at the elder for interrupting him.

“What?” Hakyeon look confused. Like he didn’t know why it would be strange to be here, with Taeyong in a cheap hotel, hiding from his band on their anniversary.

“Why are you here but not with them?” Taeyong said bluntly, having to spell it out for him.

“Oh. That…” Taeyong almost regretted questioning anything when the happiness from his face faded away a little bit before coming back full force, like it was nothing.

“We decided to celebrate tomorrow. Some of us were busy today.” He said nonchalantly, as if he was pretending to not be bothered by it. “On your band birthday?” The younger pushed. “In general, you’re usually free from work for these things.”

“Not band work, more like personal things. Busy, you know?”

“Personal? Like what?” Taeyong quizzed him doubtfully. “I don’t know.” The brunette said finally, at a loss for what else to say.

Taeyong wanted to keep the conversation going because let’s face it, he was just shamelessly curious. But the look on Hakyeon’s face, the disappointed one, was enough to shut him up. He sighed a little bit, and said:

“Well let’s celebrate. We can order something, right?”

The look of pure happiness on his friend face was enough to close their conversation forever.

 

* * *

 

“Please say something funny.” Was the start of their conversation.

“Well, hello to you too.”

Taeyong just arrived at the hotel room, slamming the door brutally with a look of pure rage on his face. Saying Hakyeon was shocked would be an understatement.

Sure, his little pumpkin was never exactly a ball of sunshine walking on a rainbow, but he was always calm (and cute, if you asked him), so seeing him was like was… strange. And scary. Damn those eyes. Telling him to shut up and challenging him to not obey.

Well in that case…

“What did the Lion King tell Simba when he was walking too slow?”

Taeyong arched a perfect eyebrow at that, extreme doubt marking his face.

“MUFASA!”

And once again, as it had started to be commonplace in this hotel room, there was a religious silence. Whereas Taeyong just looked blankly at Hakyeon like he had said the stupidest shit ever, and Hakyeon who stared back awkwardly, feeling like he had just said the stupidest shit ever.

And then, Taeyong laughed. But not just the awkward one you do when your friend does or says something really unfunny and you laugh because you’re too much of a good friend to not and not doing it will be awkward. He really laughed. And he couldn’t stop. It was as if Hakyeon had said the best joke ever, which had definitely _not_ been the case.

Hakyeon could only look at him as if he was a madman, and it was at this moment Hakyeon really questioned himself if that was really the case. After all, he did accept the proposition of a total stranger to meet almost every week in a cheap hotel room, and against all logic, he started to laugh as well.

They continued to do just that for a few minutes before they tried to calm themselves. Taeyong looked much happier after that and moved over right to where Hakyeon was, instinctively snuggling into his arms. After adjusting himself to get a little bit more comfortable he finally said:

“Your jokes are the worst, ever. Even Donghyuk wouldn’t dare to say something like that.”

“You laughed!” Hakyeon quickly accused him, retaliating and pretending to be hurt. “My bad.” Taeyong said dramatically. “It must have been an accident.” He teased him.

And even if Hakyeon wanted to fire something back, the smile on the other’s face made him stay silent.

“What happened?” He said after a while.

“Nothing. It just… it wasn’t a good morning.” The blonde sighed.

“And?” Hakyeon prodded, encouraging him to go on and confide within the elder.

“And I just- I was so frustrated.” He started. “I woke myself up preparing myself to come here, but the living room was a mess, and I hate that. So I cleaned it up myself, even if it wasn’t my turn. I was just a little bit annoyed because it’s not supposed to be that way, but because everyone was asleep I didn’t make a fuss about it. But then Donghyuk and Yuta woke up and I went to take shower and-”

“Slower please.” Hakyeon interrupted quietly. “Sorry. It’s just hard to keep up.” He said, an apologetic smile gracing his features.

“It’s okay. So I took a shower and when I came back - and I don’t know how they did it - but they made such a huge mess in such a little amount time in the kitchen - and everything was fine thank god - but they didn’t clean anything up! They had even used the ingredients I bought for tonight’s dinner! And when I asked them about it, do you know what they answered?”

“What?” Hakyeon responded softly, stroking and playing with Taeyong’s hair in an attempt to calm him down a little bit.

“They said that they felt that they didn’t _need_ to clean up the mess because _I_ would have done it myself, because I’m a “neat freak”.” He said angrily, with short and agitated quotations in the air. “And you know it wasn’t all that insulting because it’s an inside joke and I hear it often, and I’m not really hurt by it. But I had had such a tiring week and I had been so busy you know? And I had to clean when I had just woken up, and clean up again for some kind of failed recipe that they did early in the morning for whatever reason. And they laughed. And I know they did because of their own failure, but at that moment it had felt like they were mocking me, and I felt so hurt by that, so I just left angrily and…” He trailed off, his voice quieting down, and his breathing slowing slightly.

“You came here?” Hakyeon finished for him. “Yeah.” The younger said quietly.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized. “I should probably say sorry to them as well, right?” He asked sounding small, guilt written over his tired face.

“Yes,” Hakyeon agreed with him, “But you know, next time you’re feeling frustrated about something or someone, just tell them okay?”

“…Okay.” Taeyong finally agreed.

“Good. Now, let’s talk.” Hakyeon continued happily.

And Taeyong smiled once again, and everything that he had felt about this morning went away with it.

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Can you tell me something about your members?”

“What’s with the request? It weird.”

“I don’t know. I feel like you know more about my band members than me about yours.”

“Hyung, you always talk about them, that’s why. I do talk about them, not just as much as you.”

“Oh come on.” Hakyeon whined childishly, “About like…I don’t know, Johnny?”

“Alright.” The blonde said finally, his head falling onto the elder’s shoulder. “What do you wanna know?” His voice being muffled by Hakyeon’s shoulder.

“Uh… I don’t know. How about when you started to fall for him? What’s he like?” Hakyeon started off.

“Ah…”

Taeyong didn’t say anything for a moment, but then said:

“Well... first of all he’s one of the first people in my band that I had ever met as a trainee. When I arrived at SM, he had already been here for a long time. I don’t know exactly what happened, but he was supposed to debut in EXO. I don’t know why he didn’t, but it just didn’t happen. And then he was just… here. Always smiling. He didn’t seem bothered or bitter about it.

“By that time he was big and tall already. Too tall. And I had just always felt small with him.  I was jealous at first. Of his outgoing personality and how he seemed to fit in here when I had just been the new kid, recruited off of the streets. The other trainees didn’t like me. To them, I got a free pass in.

“But Johnny wasn’t like that. He always was kind to me. We were the same age, but when I was next to him I always felt like a kid because he had more experience and was so tall. Nothing has really changed about that and unfortunately it’s even worse now.” He paused for a minute, trying to regain his breath after talking for so long.

“I don’t know what happened. One day, we were practicing together, and I just looked at him and I thought he was really handsome. He was the first one, you know? That I fell in love with. Not that I really noticed it at first, but I just couldn’t help it. It was just so easy to fall in love with him.”

Hakyeon looked at him softly while he was speaking, fondling his hair gently.

“And who was the second one?”

“What?”

“You said Johnny was the first one you fell in love with, who was the second one?”

“Oh, that was Taeil-hyung. He was the quiet boy that nobody saw debuting at first. Taeil-hyung is smart. He arrived later than everyone else, but I remember clearly when he did. He had to prove himself in front of everyone. Everyone was making fun of him, with his “I’m the perfect student” look, and he was shy and introverted. And then he started to sing. I remember how everyone just shut up at that time. He’s just _that_ good. And then he left the stage as fast as he came. But even after he had exited the stage I was still mesmerized by his voice and I just couldn’t forget about it. That’s when it started.

“But you see, at that time I had just come to terms with the fact that I was in love with Johnny. So when I started having feelings for someone else, I was scared of myself. Scared to know if love really meant anything at all to me. If it was that easy for me to fall in love with someone else, how cheap was I?  But the thing is, my feelings for Johnny didn’t go away. They stayed and they ended up getting even stronger. And Taeil, well, he was here to stay as well.

After that, it was easier to accept when I fell in love with the others, but it became harder to fall each time.”

“I see.” Hakyeon said after the younger had finished, “They seemed to be good guys.”

Taeyong smiled delicately at that.

“They are. They really are.”

 

* * *

 

“So tell me Taeyong, what is the dirtiest thing you’ve ever wanted your members to do to you?”

Taeyong choked on his saliva at that, making really disgusting sounds at the same time.

“What the fuck?” He replied dumbly staring blankly at Hakyeon.

“ _Please_ , Taeyong. Don’t act that shocked! I mean it’s been like four months since we’ve started seeing each other and you still haven’t said very much about your own desires toward your members. And you know I wanted to be nice and all about it because I can’t force you into things that you don’t want to do, but _come on_ man. _Four months_. So, come on. Tell me one thing. I’m listening.” Hakyeon asked demandingly.

“But-” Taeyong started, “No but’s” Hakyeon quickly interrupted him. “Unless you’re talking about the one with two T’s. If that’s the case, includes all the butts you want into this sentence. So? Continue.”

At that Taeyong just stared blankly at this ridiculous man that was Cha Hakyeon. He really wanted to reply with something nasty to that, but let’s face it, there was no real answer to that. Nothing. And Hakyeon was kind of right. The whole purpose of this arrangement was to be less stressed about their “I cannot bang my bandmates and it makes me feel sad” problem. By not talking about it at all he was sure that he was just as stressed as before.

“Well,” he said hesitantly, “I always kind of liked the thought of crossdressing and that kind of stuff? Like wearing pretty lingerie dresses.” He continued on, his face flushing more red as he spoke and getting more embarrassed by the second. “To make them tell me how pretty I am, and to let them play with me. And to maybe call them oppa and-”

"Wow, you want to call them oppa?” Hakyeon interrupted, “That's kinkier of you than I thought."

"I don't wanna hear that from someone who wants to be treated as a freakin' sextoy." Taeyong retorted, his face in a deep blush.

"...Point taken." The brunette said while motioning for him to continue.

“But anyways, it has always been like that in my fantasies. Just them just caring about me and me being pleased and _beaming_ at their affections. So… sorry. I guess there’s nothing _too_ dirty.”

“There’s still the whole ‘oppa’ thing. Pretty kinky if you ask me.” He said nodding his head happily.

Taeyong just looked at him, with a completely done expression.

“Sometimes I look at you and ask myself how you have still survived in this world without being killed by someone, with how annoying you can be.”

“Hey! That’s mean!”

“It was supposed to be.”

_…_

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....
> 
> So xD?

**Author's Note:**

> So did you all enjoy it x)?
> 
> I know not that dirty for now but they need time you know.  
> Oh and I know that like time period probably don't concord (I'm pretty sure firetruck and dynamite weren't promoted at the same period) but for the sake of the story let's pretend it was at the time xD.  
> I wanna thanks my editor Sidney6508 and her friend who did an amazing job editing this chapter love you <3.
> 
> Any kind of reviews is welcome =).


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